Mama's Got Ballz

Thank you for indulging me in a slight hiatus from my blogging-with-boys adventure.  These last few months were football season at our house.  tadalafil no prescription We, along with a couple of fantastic friends, run a youth sports organization in our town.  This means I have spent every weekend for the last 10 weeks schlepping nachos and beef sandwiches at a concession stand for 8 hours a day…..or as my boys put it; Skittles-for-breakfast!

I want to impart a little wisdom I have learned after being a sports parent from everything from football and soccer to baseball and cheerleading (yes, I said cheerleading), for almost 20 years.




I mean this in the nicest way.  All of these parents are nice, normal human beings that coexist with one another in relative harmony off the field.  They hold jobs, negotiate contracts, adjudicate conflicts, adhere to OSHA and drive the speed limit.  You’ve met them, befriended them, had beers with them and even facebook friended them.  They pay their bills on time, go to church and volunteer at soup kitchens……however, there is the occasional parent that once they have given that initial consent to their child to participate in an organized team sport you must know the following important facts:

  1.  Their child is the best and most talented natural athlete this sport has ever, or will ever see.  Michael Jordan, Pele, Babe Ruth and Joe Namath were uncoordinated morons compared to their child and soon the world will know it.
  2. Coaches and league officials need to follow their advice ………on everything.


I have witnessed this time and time again.   Sports fans in general are a little kooky….but sports parents are certifiable.

 Referees can attest to this on a stack of bibles.   Not only will parent craziness come into play with the calls of the official but also with the way the organization is run in general.  I have had everything from the amount of cheese on a serving of nachos to appropriate delivery of uniforms come down to something slightly short of a national crisis in need NATO negotiating.  Let me reiterate one exceptionally important fact here.  Like 99.9% of everyone else coaching, mentoring and nachoing your kid …..I am a volunteer.  I have always lived by the adage that if you want to see some change or don’t like the way something is going, then put on your big girl panties and a plastic glove and dip your own beef sandwich in the gravy!  Most of our parents do exactly that.  They are fantastic volunteers.  We all have those moments of fan-crazed parenting, but a few parents are just a little “better” at the crazy stuff then others.

This was all new to me when entering big boy world almost 20 years ago.  I have the coordination of an invertebrate.  I ran the 50 yard dash in 20 seconds.  I can’t do a somersault and I have the competitive spirit of a Trappist monk.  Sports were just not my thing. The idea of screaming like a tormented soul on the verge of complete brokenness because my son was just yellow carded bewilders me.

Needless to say, I’m happy to have this fall season over with.  Not only can I go back to my man cave and watch back to back to back to back episodes of Big Bang Theory and Pumpkin Chunkin’ with my trebuchet loving brood, but I now have time to clean the urine off the seat without having someone call into question “how” I’m cracking down on it.  I have several months to rest up and gear up for the next wave of insanity the following fall.  Yep, that’s right….I’ll be back for more.  Because I’m just as insane as the rest of them!